When people start a new relationship, it is as though Cinderella and her Prince stepped out of that childhood story. A more realistic way to look at it is to think of it as two people who are running for office, campaigning to be in the other person’s life. Forget that it is not who they will be later in life. We are too busy getting the other person to “choose us” so we can live happily ever after. There is, bad habits early on in the relationship we never see. For instance, leaving dirty clothes scattered, drinking directly out of the juice carton, putting a dirty knife back in the drawer and watching from around the corner as they lick it clean, washing is too much effort. Both sides hide their bad habits when they begin dating, because they are too busy running for the highest office in the country, ultimately the office of marriage and parenthood.
This fantasy life fades as people grow together in a relationship. Unfortunately, about sixty percent grow apart during the marriage.
When the marriage ends it is like a house set on fire. All desired hopes, dreams and commitment cherished by both sides, up in smoke. But, we forget that the child of this relationship has yet to lay the foundation of their lives.
Divorce on any level, is devastating. For children, their warm, safe world is suddenly shattered like a broken toy, in many pieces. When parents begin to divorce, do they really stop and think about the children? All too often, the children fall under the invisible heading of “power base” or worse yet, “negotiable”.
A child’s life during a divorce is like a roller coaster, going up minute and down the next. Parents are keeping score of their child’s affection as though they were at a sporting event. Both parents fear losing ground as though their competition, the other parent, chips away at there own individual “power base”. This is an automatic reaction during a divorce. If only parents would stop for a moment and realize, that children have unconditional love for each of them.
Children were not beamed down from space to earth. They were conceived and brought into this world with the greatest expectations, and most of all love. By two people the child calls mother and father. These two people have forgotten that being a parent, role model and teacher, means not putting down the other. Or using the children to emotionally beat up the “competition”. Because, being a parent is a privilege!
A divorce is like a funeral. Of course, there is no casket or service. But the process is the same.
“Funeral” services begin when the parties enter their lawyers office, (I call them legal funeral representatives) they help prepare for the death of their clients marriage.
The lawyers seek out personal, confidential information about you, only to file it in a public record for the world to see.
Attached to this public record filing is a detailed financial description, (yours) of personal property and assets acquired during the marriage.
Somewhere between page 11 or 15 of the divorce agreement, your children are listed, like an asset, by name and age. And on yet another page, you will find the “children”, stating who gets custody when, on what days, with specific times and for how long. Can’t forget the holiday schedules, this appears on yet another page of the divorce decree. This page looks more like a major event schedule, trading odd and even years off during the holidays.
If parents would think for a moment and get off their “power base”, they should be able to work out these very private details among themselves.
Months, and in some cases years later a judge, who I refer to as the coroner (no disrespect intended) sit before these strangers, in a court of law, with people who once vowed to love, honor and cherish each other all the days of their lives, ask if all parties are in agreement, with the tap of his gavel, signs the death certificate (known more commonly as the divorce decree.
I for one think this process is a crime. We allow total strangers to settle our once very happy lives. The greater crime, however, is the children, divided up among the parents like a piece of property. They are the “Voiceless Victims.”
By: Susan Murphy-Milano
Sabtu, 28 Februari 2009
The BLACK HOLE Of Internet Marketing"
You can’t wait to get up in the morning to get on the computer. You devour ezines. You can’t learn enough in a day. When you’re not on the computer, your mind is composing headlines and ad copy; material for articles. Each evening you reluctantly turn off the computer or maybe you’re still happily at it until the wee hours of the morning.
Then one day it happens...you get out of bed and the thought of getting near the computer makes your stomach queasy. You begin thinking maybe you should get that root canal your dentist has been bugging you about for the last six months. Gee, wasn’t my carpet beige at one time,
not gray? Maybe I should clean house; mow the yard; do my 2000 taxes. Anything...anything...but get on the computer.
My friend, you’ve fallen into the "Black Hole" of Internet marketing. It’s a place where you are totally apathetic about online promotion; you just don’t want to have anything to do with it.
The first time it happened to me, I had just returned from a tranquil week in the mountains of Tennessee. I thought I would return to my computer with a huge appetite for marketing. To my surprise and dismay, I just didn’t want to get back on the computer and my routine of spending 10-12 hours a day doing all the things we do.
I came out of that period realizing that I needed to moderate my time on the computer and to do that; I would need to start working smarter, not harder. So the "Black Hole" episode wasn’t a bad thing. I learned from it.
I think anyone who is passionate (obsessive?) about Net marketing goes through this in varying degrees. And everyone deals with it differently. Some are able to "bully" their way through these
episodes. That doesn’t work for me because then marketing becomes something I HAVE to do instead of something I WANT to do.
I have fallen into the "Black Hole" a few more times and have no doubt I will again in the future. This is how I have learned to get through it:
1. I subscribe to 125+ ezines. I receive the majority of them in several different HotMail accounts so I don’t overload my main email account. I will set my HotMail accounts up not to receive and
automatically delete any incoming mail. This prevents bouncebacks and I won’t lose my subscriptions. I know I’m going through a temporary phase and when I get through it, I can open my accounts back up.
2. I go to the library and check out a bunch of books. For me, the more Stephen King and John Grisham, the better. I spend my afternoons with my butt firmly planted on the couch
(one cat on my chest and one on my legs) with a bag of potato chips within easy reach.
3. I give my house what I call a "5-star" cleaning. Now you have to understand I HATE housework. Hated it when I was a kid and woke up every Saturday to my mother yelling, "Jo Ann, time to get up. We have a lot of cleaning to do." Please, just shoot me now! As I get older, my distaste for housework only increases. But it’s one of those things I need to do just so I can shut up that
"nag voice" in my head.
4. And speaking of "nag voices," I take care of all those trivial things that I have been putting off doing. I find this is important because it seems to clear my head. Shutting up the "nag voices"
is like taking out mental garbage.
Basically, I’m telling myself it’s okay to feel the way I’m feeling...apathetic, disinterested, turned-off, tuned-out.
After a while, I start feeling there’s a void in my life. I miss writing; my brain starts to hunger for knowledge again; I’m feeling aimless and bored.
Then I know it’s time to ease back into Internet marketing.
I start by opening up a few of my HotMail accounts. Not all of them because I don’t want to feel overwhelmed. I allow myself one hour a day to read ezines and study ads. After a while, I’ll allow myself one hour in the morning and one hour in the afternoon to read and study. Gradually, I open all my accounts back up.
Before I know it, I’m getting excited again. Words are flowing; ideas are bumping around in my head.
She’s B-A-C-K!!!
For me, I think the "Black Hole" periods are good. I return to Internet marketing refreshed and energized. I’m grateful once again for the return of passion. No longer stale, I can clearly see flaws
previously overlooked and come up with fresh ideas.
Sometimes we are so deeply involved with our life within the computer; we lose our sense of perspective. We think we are learning, but we’re just reading words. Our brain is overloaded and nothing is sticking. We just do the "same old, same old" and wonder why we’re not getting anywhere.
I think the "Black Hole" is our mind’s way of saying, "Hey, ease up! Ya know, there’s a whole nother world outside of that monitor. I’m going on strike until you give me a break!"
I have come to understand that for me, I live in two worlds; one is CyperSpace and the other is the physical world. I have friends and loved ones in both worlds; I make money in both worlds; I am passionate about both worlds.
I think the key is to try to find the right formula so that the two worlds can co-exist in harmony.
Every time I come out of a "Black Hole," I get a bit closer to finding that formula.
So don’t panic when you fall in the "Black Hole." Just listen to that quiet, still voice inside. It will guide you through it. And when you come out to the other side, I think you’ll be smarter
for the experience. Certainly you’ll appreciate the return of renewed passion and excitement.
"This, indeed, is one of the eternal paradoxes of both life and literature--that without passion little gets done; yet, without control of that passion, its effects are largely ill or null." F.L. Lucas
By: Jo McNamara
Then one day it happens...you get out of bed and the thought of getting near the computer makes your stomach queasy. You begin thinking maybe you should get that root canal your dentist has been bugging you about for the last six months. Gee, wasn’t my carpet beige at one time,
not gray? Maybe I should clean house; mow the yard; do my 2000 taxes. Anything...anything...but get on the computer.
My friend, you’ve fallen into the "Black Hole" of Internet marketing. It’s a place where you are totally apathetic about online promotion; you just don’t want to have anything to do with it.
The first time it happened to me, I had just returned from a tranquil week in the mountains of Tennessee. I thought I would return to my computer with a huge appetite for marketing. To my surprise and dismay, I just didn’t want to get back on the computer and my routine of spending 10-12 hours a day doing all the things we do.
I came out of that period realizing that I needed to moderate my time on the computer and to do that; I would need to start working smarter, not harder. So the "Black Hole" episode wasn’t a bad thing. I learned from it.
I think anyone who is passionate (obsessive?) about Net marketing goes through this in varying degrees. And everyone deals with it differently. Some are able to "bully" their way through these
episodes. That doesn’t work for me because then marketing becomes something I HAVE to do instead of something I WANT to do.
I have fallen into the "Black Hole" a few more times and have no doubt I will again in the future. This is how I have learned to get through it:
1. I subscribe to 125+ ezines. I receive the majority of them in several different HotMail accounts so I don’t overload my main email account. I will set my HotMail accounts up not to receive and
automatically delete any incoming mail. This prevents bouncebacks and I won’t lose my subscriptions. I know I’m going through a temporary phase and when I get through it, I can open my accounts back up.
2. I go to the library and check out a bunch of books. For me, the more Stephen King and John Grisham, the better. I spend my afternoons with my butt firmly planted on the couch
(one cat on my chest and one on my legs) with a bag of potato chips within easy reach.
3. I give my house what I call a "5-star" cleaning. Now you have to understand I HATE housework. Hated it when I was a kid and woke up every Saturday to my mother yelling, "Jo Ann, time to get up. We have a lot of cleaning to do." Please, just shoot me now! As I get older, my distaste for housework only increases. But it’s one of those things I need to do just so I can shut up that
"nag voice" in my head.
4. And speaking of "nag voices," I take care of all those trivial things that I have been putting off doing. I find this is important because it seems to clear my head. Shutting up the "nag voices"
is like taking out mental garbage.
Basically, I’m telling myself it’s okay to feel the way I’m feeling...apathetic, disinterested, turned-off, tuned-out.
After a while, I start feeling there’s a void in my life. I miss writing; my brain starts to hunger for knowledge again; I’m feeling aimless and bored.
Then I know it’s time to ease back into Internet marketing.
I start by opening up a few of my HotMail accounts. Not all of them because I don’t want to feel overwhelmed. I allow myself one hour a day to read ezines and study ads. After a while, I’ll allow myself one hour in the morning and one hour in the afternoon to read and study. Gradually, I open all my accounts back up.
Before I know it, I’m getting excited again. Words are flowing; ideas are bumping around in my head.
She’s B-A-C-K!!!
For me, I think the "Black Hole" periods are good. I return to Internet marketing refreshed and energized. I’m grateful once again for the return of passion. No longer stale, I can clearly see flaws
previously overlooked and come up with fresh ideas.
Sometimes we are so deeply involved with our life within the computer; we lose our sense of perspective. We think we are learning, but we’re just reading words. Our brain is overloaded and nothing is sticking. We just do the "same old, same old" and wonder why we’re not getting anywhere.
I think the "Black Hole" is our mind’s way of saying, "Hey, ease up! Ya know, there’s a whole nother world outside of that monitor. I’m going on strike until you give me a break!"
I have come to understand that for me, I live in two worlds; one is CyperSpace and the other is the physical world. I have friends and loved ones in both worlds; I make money in both worlds; I am passionate about both worlds.
I think the key is to try to find the right formula so that the two worlds can co-exist in harmony.
Every time I come out of a "Black Hole," I get a bit closer to finding that formula.
So don’t panic when you fall in the "Black Hole." Just listen to that quiet, still voice inside. It will guide you through it. And when you come out to the other side, I think you’ll be smarter
for the experience. Certainly you’ll appreciate the return of renewed passion and excitement.
"This, indeed, is one of the eternal paradoxes of both life and literature--that without passion little gets done; yet, without control of that passion, its effects are largely ill or null." F.L. Lucas
By: Jo McNamara
I Built a Better Mousetrap"-- Advice on Protecting Your Cre
So, you built a better mousetrap. Now, how do your protect your "perfect" creation from being stolen by a Fortune 500 company? The answer lies in the United States Constitution which gives the U.S. Congress exclusive authority to grant patents for inventions. Patents on new inventions are not an automatic right. Instead, an inventor must apply and be granted a patent by the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office (USPTO), an agency of the U.S. Department of Commerce. The process is long, laborious and very time-consuming. How do you start the tedious process?
A U.S. patent is basically a contract between an inventor and the government. The U.S. patent laws were written to provide an incentive to inventors to create and publicly disclose their inventions. In exchange for full disclosure of an invention, the government grants the inventor the right to exclude others from making, selling or importing the patented invention.
There are three types of patents, they are: 1) utility patents which protect the way an article is used and works; 2) design patents which protects the way an article looks; and 3) plant patents issued for asexually reproducing plants.
In order to be patentable, an invention must useful, novel (new), and non-obvious--meaning that when viewed as a whole, the invention must not have been simply an obvious improvement in the invention's field when viewed by one of ordinary skill in that particular field.
The patent application process generally involves three steps. First, the person (or corporation) seeking the patent must file an application with the Patent Office. In addition to including a detailed description of how to make and use the invention, the application must include patent claims--statements that define the scope of the invention which the inventor is attempting to protect. Once the application has been filed, a patent examiner will be assigned to review the claims and the rest of the application.
The second phase of the process begins with the patent examiner performing a "novelty search"--checking prior patents, and all the available literature to determine whether the invention is really novel and non-obvious. During the course of the patent application process, the patent examiner and the inventor (or his attorney) will communicate back and forth with one another to determine novelty and answer additional questions which may arise.
Finally, the examiner decides on the patentablility of the invention based on the information found during the novelty search. Assuming the examiner is eventually satisfied that the patent claims are narrow enough to distinguish it from "prior art," and the inventor is satisfied that the claims are still broad enough to have value, the patent will then be issued.
Patent law does allow an inventor to "act for himself" in obtaining a patent, meaning the inventor can do everything himself. However, without some prior experience or some legal training there is the danger of applying for protection that is so broad that your patent is never issued, or is so specific that your invention is not fully protected.
Invention Development Organizations (IDOs) are private and public consulting and marketing businesses that have come into existence to help inventors bring their products to market, or to otherwise profit from their ideas. While many of these organizations are legitimate, some are not. Be extremely wary of any IDO that is willing to promote your invention or product without making a detailed inquiry into the merits of your idea and giving you a full range of options which you may pursue.
To fully protect your creative works and your potential profits, you should always consider obtaining the services of a competent and reliable patent attorney. While the costs may appear expensive, the protection offered by a U.S. patent for a commercially valuable invention more than justifies the cost.
Even after your patent has been granted, you may still require professional patent assistance. Patent professionals can monitor the marketplace for inventors (or copycats) who are infringing on your ideas. The strongest patent in the world is worthless if you do not ensure that it is being enforced.
By: Larry Denton
A U.S. patent is basically a contract between an inventor and the government. The U.S. patent laws were written to provide an incentive to inventors to create and publicly disclose their inventions. In exchange for full disclosure of an invention, the government grants the inventor the right to exclude others from making, selling or importing the patented invention.
There are three types of patents, they are: 1) utility patents which protect the way an article is used and works; 2) design patents which protects the way an article looks; and 3) plant patents issued for asexually reproducing plants.
In order to be patentable, an invention must useful, novel (new), and non-obvious--meaning that when viewed as a whole, the invention must not have been simply an obvious improvement in the invention's field when viewed by one of ordinary skill in that particular field.
The patent application process generally involves three steps. First, the person (or corporation) seeking the patent must file an application with the Patent Office. In addition to including a detailed description of how to make and use the invention, the application must include patent claims--statements that define the scope of the invention which the inventor is attempting to protect. Once the application has been filed, a patent examiner will be assigned to review the claims and the rest of the application.
The second phase of the process begins with the patent examiner performing a "novelty search"--checking prior patents, and all the available literature to determine whether the invention is really novel and non-obvious. During the course of the patent application process, the patent examiner and the inventor (or his attorney) will communicate back and forth with one another to determine novelty and answer additional questions which may arise.
Finally, the examiner decides on the patentablility of the invention based on the information found during the novelty search. Assuming the examiner is eventually satisfied that the patent claims are narrow enough to distinguish it from "prior art," and the inventor is satisfied that the claims are still broad enough to have value, the patent will then be issued.
Patent law does allow an inventor to "act for himself" in obtaining a patent, meaning the inventor can do everything himself. However, without some prior experience or some legal training there is the danger of applying for protection that is so broad that your patent is never issued, or is so specific that your invention is not fully protected.
Invention Development Organizations (IDOs) are private and public consulting and marketing businesses that have come into existence to help inventors bring their products to market, or to otherwise profit from their ideas. While many of these organizations are legitimate, some are not. Be extremely wary of any IDO that is willing to promote your invention or product without making a detailed inquiry into the merits of your idea and giving you a full range of options which you may pursue.
To fully protect your creative works and your potential profits, you should always consider obtaining the services of a competent and reliable patent attorney. While the costs may appear expensive, the protection offered by a U.S. patent for a commercially valuable invention more than justifies the cost.
Even after your patent has been granted, you may still require professional patent assistance. Patent professionals can monitor the marketplace for inventors (or copycats) who are infringing on your ideas. The strongest patent in the world is worthless if you do not ensure that it is being enforced.
By: Larry Denton
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